Sibilants

It is a largely ignored truth that sibilants – those wonderful hissing sounds – are the noisiest, most attention-grabbing elements in speech.

To that end I am going to have visiting cards printed up as follows:

If you really mutht
whithper during a conthert
pleathe lithp!

They would have been useful this evening.

[Many thanks to C.S. Lewis who brought the highly useful tip about lisping to my childish attention in, I believe, The Last Battle.]