Following in a long and noble tradition, I bring you a Salon des Refusés. It’s a personal and in some ways haphazard selection – simply what caught my eye during the week and again during the checking process. I fear I may have forgotten some favourites, in which case I’ll have to add them in later. These may not have won in the main round, but they made me smile and I want to keep them around somewhere handy.
Organised alphabetically by opera (discounting the articles)…
Pattyoboe – Leaving your
husband & child isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In the end she
finally gets on track.
Let’s all try to figure out why the King of Sweden was assassinated in
Boston. I think it has something to do with the censors.
Un ballo maschera
S Piano – He sings.
He schemes. He lies for the lovers. He steals keys. He evades arrest.
But does he actually cut hair?
The Barber of Seville
Prima La Musica – Ad man,
ladies’ man, lucky man. Dead man, changed man, madman. New man, green
man, Honey’s man. Good man. It’s bliss, man.
Prima la musica –
Betty’s a Bitch, Johnny’s a Jerk, Lucy’s a Leftie, David’s a Dealer.
Honey’s a Hooker-with-a-Heart. But Harry? He’s just a Joy.
Bliss again, #incaseyoumissedbliss
Prima la musica –
Contestant on macabre Hungarian gameshow ignores all hints from the host
and opens one mystery door too many
P Schleuse – Some folks
shun CosiFanTutte, find its characters too fruity. Its moral yet is
worth a ponder: Absence Makes the Heart Go Wander
(like it says)
Dido and Æneas
Dumble Dad – @belinda
Remember me but oh do not archive my tweets.
(Because you can never have too much Purcell, although the same might not be said for Twitter)
Sam Neuman – Today
Lakovsky: Eugene wouldn’t give Tatiana a second look when she was a
kid-but look at her now! Come on out, Tatiana!
We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars or,
more specifically, dreaming of the moon and the 15th century
The Excursions of Mr Broucek
Hell, I would’ve been better off staying home with a margarita.
the opera she was called Leonora,but sacrifices that name for Florestans
sake.This offer comes free with four overtures
Maura Lafferty – Max
competition to win love. Kaspar has help from below, not above. Bullet
flies, someone dies. Karma fits like a glove.
Hänsel und Gretel (ok, I confess, musical theatre references catch my eye)
Lattavanti – Creepy
shepherd forms cult, convinces king to embrace Nietzsche waaaaaay before
it was cool.
Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk
Nicole Brockmann – Hindu
priest’s daughter, spurned by one who loved honour more,
Delibes-erately offs self w/datura. Sponsored by British Airways
Olivia Giovetti – If you
knew what happened to the first couple who heard it, you may rethink
using that ubiquitous bridal march.
Lohengrin (I don’t know that it’s a plot exactly, but I wholeheartedly agree)
Alejoplay – Everyone
thought Lucia was mad when she insisted it would be a simple ceremony
Lucia di Lammermoor
Prima la musica –
Amatory lepidopterist traps fragile specimen among Nagasaki cherry
blossoms. Fumbling to release her, he crushes her instead.
Talopine – The crew play
baseball / In the desert’s heat. And wait. / And…stay with the plane.
Meister Mole –
“Nürnberg’s Got Talent”
N Brockmann –
from the headlines: sad clown loses it; stabs wife+her lover for real,
not pretend. Hey–wasn’t this a Law & Order episode?
Postilion always marries twice…
Le postillon de Lonjumeau
Eighth Blackbird –
An ageing, nostalgic Duchess recalls her youth. Sings an aria while
giving fellatio. ’Nuff said.
Powder Her Face
build a castle in Paradise, I’m going to get there at any price; Stand
aside, I’m on my way (Wotan, apologize to Gershwin)
Das Rheingold (despite not being that into Wagner, I am seriously into Gershwin)
rivers of Germany are lined with gold. But if you have any sense of
destiny, keep your hands off.
Das Rheingold again, my sentiments exactly!
After decades away, man returns home to free faithful wife from
contrapuntal suitors, burden of singing only in recitative.
Il ritorno d’Ulisse in patria
MMmusing – The
puts tonality on notice. The ending lets Isolde Liebestod us.
Tristan und Isolde
P Schleuse – What with this hallucination, country life is no vacation. You’ll see
him if you sort of squint: that creepy guy is Peter Quint.
The Turn of the Screw
Music Vs Theater –
Mix one part Mary Poppins and one part Sixth Sense. Turn until screwed.
The Turn of the Screw
primalamusica – It’s
just like The Sound of Music, but with ghosts & Freudian angst
instead of schmaltz & Nazis. And the kids are even creepier
The Turn of the Screw (at least, I swear this one was entered for 2010, but it’s not showing up except for 2009; maybe I was just imagining it…)
Pamina! I just
saw a pic of Pamina. Her mom’s a crazy dame & sent it in a frame to
me. Pamina! I just dissed a girl named Pamina.
Die Zauberflöte (there’s another very aMMmusing one on the same theme, which made its way into a movie trailer, but I got sucked in by the Sondheim/Bernstein reference of this effort)
I’ve already revealed my all-time favourite. If I had to pick two runners up they would be Otterhouse’s Le postillon de Lonjumeau – which is wonderfully epigrammatic, to the point, and a very, very clever use of a cross-cultural reference – and Primalamusica’s Bluebeard’s Castle, which is elegantly apt and completely unforced.
I would then give MMmusing a special prize for uniting the pleasures of musical theatre with the intricacies of opera. Pattyoboe would get the prize for punning. ClassicalReview would get the Sondheim award for perfect internal rhyming. And I could probably go on inventing prizes for everyone. Which is ultimately the greatest pleasure and reward of the whole week: following the whimsy and creativity of all these wonderful wordie-nerdie-musical types. Congratulations to everyone, and a big thank you to the OM for making all this happen.